Dear Reader,
I’m investing and betting on myself. It feels both exhilarating and like I might fall on my face at any minute.
I’m part of a 25-person cohort at Artist INC, an organization that helps artists—musicians, painters, writers, dancers, and more—build sustainable careers from their art.
You might be thinking, Icess, you’ve done this for a while. You know some things already. I do. I know a lot of things. I’ve also forgotten a few. And honestly, I need a refresher or maybe a chance to relearn what I got wrong the first time.
Still, for all those reasons—and maybe because of them—I’m realigning my art and my practice with my why.
When I think about how long I’ve been a writer vs how long I’ve been an artist, those time lengths are not equal. I’ve been writing since I was knee high to a grasshopper, that’s to say I’ve always been a writer and will always be one. However, when it comes to being an artist — doing readings, teaching creative writing, publishing my work, etc. — I’ve only been doing to for about 8 years, minus three years after the pandemic.
What I mean by this awkwardly written math problem is that my artist life isn’t even a kindergartener yet.
I wanted to be a writer since I knew people could get paid to write. I became a journalist because it was a gig with a steady income that would allow me to write. I’ve played it safe for an entire lifetime — jobs to pay the bills when I really should be writing. Using my creativity for other things when I should have been writing. Focusing on other things when I , you guessed it, should have been writing.
And then there’s this. This Substack.
I watch other writers use this platform in so many ways — book clubs, teaching techniques, behind the scenes of their next project, etc. I want to use this space to not only create community but also publish my work. This Substack has the potential to be the safe space for my work that I’ve always wanted.
Last week, when I wrote about Bad Bunny, I mentioned some of the things I would do with my old blog, Writing To Insanity. From “blog tours” to writing a week long serial story, I loved experimenting with it. But now, I don’t have to experiement, I can execute at such a higher level than my old Blogger/WordPress site. I know more, my writing is better, my editing is better.
So I want to use the features Substack has to grow my work and my community here. This is where I will be for the time being so let us create a home here. And I think being part of the Artists Inc. cohort will help with that.
Returning to Artist Inc., part of the program is some homework you do before the next weekly session. My homework so far (of which there is plenty) was to write a eulogy. This came right before writing 1 year, 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals and oddly gave me a North start to follow. In the interest of transparency, I’ll share my eulogy:
“Icess’ legacy is in the words she left behind. In them is a whole life that few people listened to or acknowledged. She leaves behind work that people have used and will continue to use as balm for generations. Although she is children-less, she has become the kind of ancestor to call when words fail and the world is too much.
Despite this, and maybe because of this, she has given the world countless poems and fiction that spotlights the voiceless, the experiences bypassed for louder fair. The words were so powerful that when people read them they felt seen and something in them heals, lights flick on. In this way she was a healer. And somehow the magic of her art fixed the world.
And somehow she leave this world better than she found it, in peace and injected with a little more humanity.”
This was a tough activity. I lived this last decade in a way that I would never need to write a eulogy for myself. So I focused instead on my legacy. What did I want my work to say or do when I leave it behind.
I want it to change the world. I want it to change people. I want people to see themselves in my writing.
The goal is lofty, I know, but somehow in my deepest of hearts my writing has always been about changing the world or at least exposing the truth of humanity so that that it can look at itself, recognize itself and change the flaws. This is not an easy undertaking but it is my charge. And so, in the first weeks of being part of this cohort, I am reminded of my why, the most powerful motivator that there is. It’s so easy to forget the why in between the what’s and the hows. However, aligning my actions and decisions to my why is something that I’ve needed to do for a very long time.
Imagine: This is the first homework then what is the rest of the homework for this program going to be like? What else am I going to learn? I’m realigning with my why, or maybe aligning for the first time, and this time I maybe doing it right!
Icess, I am loving watching you blossom. And navigating the contrast between writing and being an artist... it's a really important distinction and you said it so well. Cheers to finding the paths we belong on!